Monday, August 15, 2011 @ 12:46 AMWhen God calls us to serve, we must not be weighed down by our limitations or past failures. Instead, our focus must be on God's limitless ability so that nothing can stop us from anwering His call.
This message is so important to me. Before I became closer to Christ, I was very insecure. Of my abilities in every aspect there could possibly be - academics, sports, music, dance, etc. Most importantly, I was very insecure as a Christian. I was what you would call a Christian by name, believing in God's existence and love but not setting apart my life for Him and developing a deeper relationship with Him. On hindsight, I should be very ashamed of even calling myself a Christian. The sins I committed each and every day were not only grave, but they were blatant and remained unconfessed. I did not seek forgiveness and I never stopped to think of how much I must have hurt Him.
But you know what the amazing thing is? God is so loving and so gracious that when I went before Him on my knees, crying and pleading for a renewed heart, He gave it so magnanimously. And he completely transformed my life. Not in the worldly things I have to do - I still have to go to school and study and be accountable to the people around me. But it is in the most fundamental of living - my lifestyle, my attitude and my thinking.
He taught me self-love, not in the arrogant detrimental way, but in a way that helps me shine for Him. He taught me not to be ashamed of my past wrongdoings, but instead it is BECAUSE of my past that I have value as a person. I can use my experiences to encourage others, to teach others and to help others. Sometimes people don't open up to those who have not experienced similar failures because they don't believe that they would understand. But when you've been through it as well, you can empathise, and you can share the comfort that you've received from God. After all, the love and peace that God showers us with daily is meant to be shared! And when people see for themselves the transformation you've been through, their FAITH in picking themselves up will be even stronger, and they will see that all things are possible!
I'm not saying that I've been through a lot because I know I haven't. Anything I've been through is only a blade of grass as compared to an entire field. But just because these experiences are tiny does not mean that they are worthless. Maybe to some these are trivial experiences. But I think I can safely say that to others, these experiences that they are going through mean heaps to them.
No longer do I care that I am a lousy dancer, or that I have not achieved a single A throughout my JC life, or that I barely attained a pass in my piano examinations when others excelled with a merit or distinction. Of course, doing my best in certain things still matter to me because they are also ways in which I can show the world how God has been so faithful to me. But God has taught me that my value as a person is above all of that. You can be born with certain talents or inclinations but they don't define you. What defines you is how you nurture your heart and how you make use of these God-given talents to touch the people around you.
And so, I am thankful for this newfound confidence. It is unlike anything I've ever come in touch with and it is a sensation I am still fumbling with. But I know that my Lord will be with me every step of the way, to use me as He deems fit, and when he does I MUST dig out the appropriate tools that He has equipped me with at the right times so that I can fearlessly do His will. Nothing must stop me from being a shining light for Him.
I love You.